Goodbyes (poem)

goodbye

I am not leaving, contrary to what it might look like from the title.  I just wanted to try my hand at some free verse poetry.  And I thought some art might go well with it. (I’ll let you be the judge of whether it does or not.)  

It’s a bit of a sad post, I suppose.  But goodbyes often are.

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beautifully me

At first writing this post was more of a therapy/outlet for me.  Then I thought: “Maybe I should post this.”  And I went back and forth between posting this and not.  But Tuesday rolled around and I didn’t have anything to post for Wednesday except this.  So here is a dump about me, and sort of about self love.  

I’ll have a normal post for next week.  I can’t keep spilling my soul on the inter-web XD.  I somehow thought it would be a good idea to post the drawings that I put along with each little blurb.  Please be nice to my bad art :P. Continue reading

random thoughts

 

random thoughts

Today we have a collection of my most random thoughts.  A lot of this is a conglomeration of my thoughts, other peoples thoughts, songs, idk, everything all mixed up with each other until I don’t know what is what.  So I don’t claim these as all my own, but I did think of them.

Dirt is made up of a lot of dead things, composed and buried for years and years.  Yet flowers still grow in it. Continue reading

~my aesthetic~

 

I saw this on a few other blogs, and was inspired to create an aesthetic post of my own because I’m running out of ideas. because I liked it.

image one: astronaut with plants.  I like plants.  I have two in my room, but I want more.  Plants make everything happy it seems.  I seem to kill everything I touch.  I had one of those terrarium plants that live in a sealed jar.  Its lived for three years.  Then, last month, I saw that the leaves had shriveled.  I don’t know why, maybe a contaminant got in.  moral: living in an isolated environment seems to protect you, but it kills you in the end. Continue reading

Appreciating the Creative Side {the unfinished sketchbook}

appreciating the creative side

Hello people of the internet who read this tiny little blog.  (Glad you’re here.  Salutations.)

Recently I’ve been moving this blog in the direction of a more personal/lifestyle/idk themed blog.  I originally started this as a writing blog, and there will still be a lot of those posts.  But now there’s a lifestyle vibe to it.  (Does anyone still use the word vibe?  I like it.)

A little while ago, I published a post on perfectionism.  This is kind of a follow-up, but not really post.  (I actually had this idea before the perfectionism one, but haven’t written it.)

I have a lot of unfinished sketchbooks.

Some are filled half way, some only have a few pages filled, and some are missing pages.

The reason is this:  I get upset at myself for not creating quality art, and cannot stand to look at it anymore.  So after I get a decent way into a sketchbook, I get frustrated at the old, bad drawings, and have to start a new one.

I have this idea of a perfect sketchbook.  Each page is filled with sketches, but they’re actually good sketches.  Faces have the correct proportions, hands look like hands, and each piece makes you feel something.  (Besides apathy and this-is-terribleness.)

I’ve always been a little upset that I am not great at the math/science side of things.  I can do it, but it doesn’t come naturally, and I procrastinate. Continue reading

Adventures in Perfectionism

adventures in perfectionism

Anyone who knows me could tell you that I am a perfectionist.  Not an obsessive perfectionist, but you know, an obsessive perfectionist.

Most of the perfectionist thoughts are aimed at making me a perfect human.  This can be very damaging.

But it can also be good.

If there’s something I’m bad at, I’ll often throw myself into the thing until it’s better.  

I have a few fears, like everyone does.  But instead of avoiding them, I say to myself, “Wouldn’t it be a great idea to conquer the fears, so you’re not a weak human?  You need to be strong and perfect.”

This has gotten me into some unpleasant situations. Continue reading

Quirky Character Quirks

It snowed here.  It only snows a few times here, and the snow isn’t that great typically.  But we got a several inches, and I went out for a while.

Small thoughts:

  • snow covered trees change the whole landscape
  • fog on snow is really pretty (not if you’re skiing, then it’s terrifying)
  • my dog could be a model for a hallmark Christmas card.  he likes to sit and stare up at the falling snow.
  • that crunch when you step on dry snow
  • it’s so quiet outdoors (unless you’re one of those people who like to scream to break the silence)

While I was outside, I was thinking about characters.  I half expected to find a lamp post in the middle of my woods, but that sadly didn’t happen.  I wondered if I’d be able survive if I did find Narnia, considering that a lot of the food there (turkish delight for example) would not be good.  On one hand, the evil White Witch wouldn’t bother me because I don’t eat sweets, but on the other, could I survive? Continue reading

an end

an end 2
Now the night is coming to an end
The sun will rise and we will try again
Stay alive, stay alive for me
You will die, but now your life is free
Take pride in what is sure to die
I will fear the night again
I hope I’m not my only friend
Stay alive, stay alive for me
You will die, but now your life is free
Take pride in what is sure to die
-truce, twenty øne piløts
End (noun): a point that marks the extent of something, the point where something ceases to exist, an outcome worked toward, cessation of a course of action, pursuit, or activity.
 
2017 has come to an end.

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Dear Younger Me

dear younger me.PNGDear Younger Me:

Hey you, yes you.  Eight year old me.  I know you’re thinking about other worlds, places, magic, unicorns, and other things that don’t really fit into everyone else’s real life.  That’s okay.  You’re not weird, even if the other kids think you are.  You’re going to learn to embrace that for who you are.  Because you didn’t really fit in this world.  You’re going to create new different worlds that those kids could never dream of.  And you’ll fit in there.  You can be as crazy as you want to be, and trust me, you will.  

You had stories pulsing in your blood, even if you didn’t realize it.  You were always making your friends act out in elaborate tales, sometimes against their will.  You created a lot of half-finished ideas, but left them because you thought they were bad.   Continue reading